On my birthday, Am I suppose to look back in life? There are blessings, happiness, unhappiness and regrets. It is making me very confused. I want to be happy when I look back at my life. But I can't seem to lift up my spirit. It's like spiraling down.
Can a blessing become a regret? Regret is something I didn't do or have done and cannot turn it back.
Anyway, regret remains regret. I shall count my blessings and be happy. Try to
As I was driving, I saw the moon. A full moon, although it should be a Tuesday that is 15th of lunar calendar.
My thoughts naturally link to werewolves after I saw the full moon. I was thinking, does full moon have such effect on human being? Are there more murders being committed on 1st and 15th day of the lunar month as compared to other days?
Well, the full moon almost bring out the evil in me. I was so tempted to let my emotions control my thinking, control my thoughts and I just want to let it be. But thinking of Max earlier on, I stopped.
Imagine the fangs were about to grow and then after that, it shrunk back......
Woman walks towards the main road, raised her hand, wola, an empty cab stopped. that was less than thirty seconds, maybe.
So the verdict is.... yes, yes, the grab taxi app have been so hyped up. Honestly, if I'm a cab driver, I'm supppose to keep my eyes on the road, right? and not on the phone or apps and try to grab a customer who might be using the grab taxi app, right?
Tell me, is it better for the cab driver to keep an eye on the road or keep an eye on the phone?
zzzzzzzz that app should be deleted for causing our cab drivers to lose concentration while driving!
It just sets me thinking.... because this morning, I went to the ATM machine, there was a lady in front of me. When she turned around, my first impression was, she looks grumpy, black faced. She looks like I have owed her some money or owed her a good morning or whatever it is.
Then it brings me back to last Thursday when I went to endocrine doctor for my check up. I agreed that it was a long wait, I was a little bit frustrated, but the woman, two queue number in front of me, she made sure that her frustrations were felt by many people. She threatened to not see the doctor already, as it was a very long wait. Later the nurse had to knock at the door of the doctor and somehow, they pacified her. Then when the nurse called her name, she was like sigh so loudly, angrily took up her bag, angrily walked into the room. Even after seeing the doctor, when she slide the door open, it was impactful. I was wondering, the doctor must have had it from her in the room.
Hormones at fault? Is that why she was here to see the doctor in the first place? hormones imbalance? Then what about the lady I encountered this morning? also hormone imbalance?
Then again, why? Why do women, particularly the middle aged women, feels so easily frustrated? Is it because she does not get enough from her husband? Oh, this will be another long post, if I were to talk about this...... my brains are making a lot of connections and links....
In summary, I hope I'm not like that. Let not the world see my face filled with frustration.
I would replace the names of the following places with.... (as googled on the net and compiled because I like the names)
1) toilet: Skunk Works (I like this the best)
2 )management level workstations: people in the management level are usually grouped together in my profession or they are all sitting in another room, usually away from us. I would call HOD room: The Dark Side
3) General office where the top 3 people are located at: 18 levels of hell (because they are located at the ground floor, though they are the top 3 people) but they may give you 18 levels of hell.
3) conference room?: War room is common. or Snooze room. usually people fall asleep during meeting. But again, the management would not like this kind of name. Maybe Creative room will sound appropriate to them. Some call it Battle Ground, or Prism.
I think i prefer Battle Ground because I can say, 'Let's go to the Battle Ground and have a quickie.' Haha
4) pantry: sugar and spice, bread and butter, Retreat, Refresh, Recharge
5) Board room: (I'm not sure if it is the same as meeting room). The Cutting Board
I was just thinking, why I have stopped blogging for a long time. I think part of the reason is because of Facebook. I'm not blaming Facebook. I'm just saying that without me realising, it was so easy to update status in Facebook, adding photos and tagging people and sharing location. It makes it easier for people to see your status update too.
Who would, for example, reach a restaurant, order food, when the food came, takes pictures and then blog about it? It was easier to update status in Facebook and easier for people to see too. Who on earth would go type your blog address in the url address and read your blog? Then type another friend's blog address and read the blog? It was simpler to read about your friend's update on Facebook. Gone were the days when I go blog visiting.
What have I been doing? I don't think I want to summarize. Just that, there are many changes to adapt to. Today I'll just mention one change here.
Work: I've changed work environment, almost a year. Feelings....
1) the grass is not always greener on the other side. Trust me. But then again, if you didn't make the first step out, how would you know if the grass is greener or not?
2) Not to say that I've regretted my decision, I think as humans, we should try to minimise regrets, regrets only make you live in the past, not able to move forward. Well, I just have to say that there are gains and losses.
Losses: in terms of work environment and middle management, it was not as friendly, over here, you really really have to watch your back. Literally, back stabbers. When I get my first backstab, I remember I was visibly upset, then I quickly learn.
Gains: It was much more pleasant to do teaching here. Not that my previous ones are not pleasant. Each group has their different needs, and 10 years, I just felt that I needed the change and yes, I've made the change and I'm happy with it.
Yup, I guess those are the two changes that I think I have now. Getting allies and trying to join forces. Well, unity is strength. No, I'm not mentioning about an uprising, that would be detrimental. I shall have another blogpost to name different places in the office.
So as I was saying (my thoughts are very random), getting allies because I realised that I'm not alone in feeling this way. I just have to socialise around more and move my way around the corporate world. Feels so slow, after 10 years then start playing office politics. That is the loss. But then again, if you look at it positively, the loss can be a gain. It helps you to be competitive.
This movie has proved, in my opinions, controversy, divided opinions.
When i first watched it, i watched it from the mum's point of view, i admire the courage and resilience she displayed despite severely injured. I also liked the part where it showed how some people in times of crisis, show their selfishness or selflessness (as seen when the man wanted to borrow a handphone to call home). Most of all, from the mother's point of view, i cried when the two younger brothers ran to the oldest brother and hugged him when they found him. That emotion of finding back your siblings, indescribable.
Which is why i decided to show this movie to my children as i found them squabbling among themselves quite often, which is getting on my nerves. They can squabble over the tiniest things possible.
While showing them the movie, I asked them
1) what happens when you are faced with such crisis, natural disaster, in an unknown land, would you be as strong as them? At that time, you have no choice, you have to learn to cope especially if you are separated from your family members. Just like Thomas, the father asked him to look after the younger brother as he would not be going with them to the shelter, Thomas said, he can't as he has never looked after anyone before. But he had no choice, he has to learn at that moment to look after the brother and he did. the moment when he let his brother sleep on his lap, it was sweet.
2) In the movie, the three brothers were separated, can they imagined being separated from one another? What if they cannot find one another back? That's why in their every day lives, they should appreciate their siblings. Friends are important too, but at the end of the day, siblings will be with you all the way, so instead of squabbling every day over silly things, appreciate one another.
I also reminded them how marcus was lost when we were in Taiwan, how did they feel? and when they saw marcus again, how did they feel again? that was the exact same emotion the three brothers in the movie are feeling, or even more. No matter what happens, family most important. That is what i meant.
Thankfully, today I didn't get into the reflective mood of what have I achieved, what have I not achieved bla bla bla.
Am thankful for what I already have, not going to think about what I could have, what I didn't have. Contended. Got to appreciate whatever I have now, at the moment.
The more u want something, and can't have it, u feel anger. And the anger inside u makes your heart black, full of vengeance. Well, some things you can fight for it, but some things can't be forced. Like time, health.
Life is short, live it to the fullest. Just do it.
Today, I brought five kids to gardens by the bay as a celebration for max.
We went to the flower dome. The girls were especially excited to see the beautiful flowers. They took a lot of pictures.
Next, we went to bakerzin to have lunch. We had a great time eating, cracking jokes and talking. The children had macarons for dessert.
After lunch, we went to cloud forest. This is the best part. Upon entering, we can see the waterfall. We were so excited that we went ohhhh and ahhhh. It was rather cold in the cloud forest.
After this, we went to the garden to walk. It was so huge!!!! We went up to the skywalk. Actually, we wanted to go to the different gardens to see, but it was so huge, we couldn't find some of the gardens. In the end, I decided, let's go back. Luckily it was not so hot, but the sky looks like it may rain anytime too, so without any umbrellas, I suggested that we walk a little faster, just in case. I believe, the gardens is nicer at night with the lights on.