Monday, September 29, 2008

Today is a very tiring day and i guess it will be the one and only time it would happen.

have you ever need to handle a situation like this: in the middle of an examination, the light bulb fused and started a small fire in the lamp. the smell of the burning wire is horrible and you have a student who hyperventilating. You have over 150 students in the hall taking exams.

this calls for immediate evacuation. anyway, i shall not go into details the evacuation. students were settled in various classrooms and exam had to proceed. the students were given 1/2 hour make up time. so everything was delayed for 1/2 hour. it was a tiring day.

one thing i learnt from this incident. never take things for granted. i was flipping through the papers and we were given a paper to read to the students in case we need to evacuate them due to bomb threat or stuff like that. i was still laughing in my head that i wouldn't have a chance to read those instructions. i said too soon. it really happen. such a small thing, lamp, light bulb fused and fire started inside the lamp. If this lamp was not so high up, it would be easily extinguished. But this lamp was so high up, we couldn't not do anything but to watch the fire 'dancing' inside the lamp. I felt so helpless.

another thing i learnt was that, must always have contingency plan. never assume that things will go on smoothly.

luckily, all personnel and adults behaved in an appropriate manner and it had to be really quick thinking on our part. very exhausted now

Sunday, September 28, 2008

I don't know how to blog and i don't know where to start.

Not blogging about my mil complaining about the maids doesn't mean that there is no problem. truth is, i'm very tired. it is the dunno how many times she is telling us, the maid is rude to her. the maid talked back to her. the maid argued with her. the maid keep the coins she found in our pocket.

ok, i know my two maids are not perfect. The one from myanmar, she is not very hardworking, she shows people that she is hardworking. she is stubborn and refuses to change some of the ways. the 3 children cannot really get along with her. but she is honest and she returns the money she found in our pockets. she is kind at heart. when my mil and the indonesian maid does not get along, she becomes the middleman.

the one from indonesia, she is hardworking, she can look after my mil well, getting ready her medicine and pushing the commode to the toilet. she knows what my mil wants to cook and she knows how to season the food for dinner with my mil's instruction. my mil can at least communicate, or should i say scold her because my mil can speak to her in malay. but she has not been honest. she keeps the coins that she found in our pockets. she is also not honest with my mil, she has told lies to my mil before, and my mil hates people to lie to her.

i do not know who is depressed now. my mil has been unreasonable of late, or should i say from july onwards. the first big incident involved me. then from that day onwards, i try not to interfere too much into the maid's affair. since july, she has been quite unreasonable towards the maid. one simple example, at first, she wants her medicine to be served to her by 8pm. then after a few days, she scolded the maid for bringing the medicine to her so early. as the medicine caused her to be drowsy and she feels sleepy early. then after a few days, at 9pm, or 9 plus, when the maid didn't bring her the medicine, she scolded the maid for not doing so. ??? bring it to her too early, she got scolded, bring it to her too late, also got scolded.

at this point, it is not wise for me to interfere. oh yes, i rememberd, there was once, i tried to be the good person. i asked my mil whether she wants her medicine. she thought that the maid asked me to ask her. omg. from then on, i know i better dun interrfere.

so from july till now, it's about 2 months plus. from the time she woke up, she would scold the maid. sometimes, it's unreasonable, sometimes it's valid. to us, sometimes, we close an eye to some of the things the maid do. keep scolding also no use, as long as they do their duties well, certain things let go abit.

and to add on to the problem, my mil has got depression. we didn't want to stop her because she would turn things around and say that we are on the maid's side and she feels that she has no power because she always feels that the maid thinks that i'm the employer, so the maids are always good in front of me, and in front of my mil, the maids dun respect her. that is how she feels. so sometimes i i dun interfere too much since she is the one who is mostly at home and dealing with the maid, so i did mention to the maid before in the july confrontation, that at home, ah ma is the 'biggest'. they must listen to ah ma, because i'm out working most of the time and i've let my mil be in charge of the house.

so it becomes very difficult for us. interfere or not to interfere. sometimes when she complains to me, inside my heart, i was wondering. ok, she is complaining to me. so am i suppose to react? if so, how should i react? scold the maid or console her that everything is fine? sometimes i balance between the two. cannot keep consoling her and cannot keep scolding the maid.

today was especially tiring because my mil got so angry that she cried. i really think her depression is really serious. it's just a small incident of the maid and her arguing over a $1 coin. apparently, the maid only buys 1 bubble tea instead of 2. the maid says mil only gives her $1. my mil said she gave her $2 and that the maid kept $1. apparently, that elusive $1 was stuck in between some tissue. the maid quickly said that she didn't put the $1 in the tissue, it was ah ma who did it. then according to my mil, the maid almost pushed the wheelchair into the drain.

they came home, they were still arguing. what they were arguing, i dunno, but when i came home, the myanmar maid told me that the indonesia maid took the knife and wanted to slit her wrist. the myanmar maid stopped her.

when we came home, we tried to settle the problem. we had to, my mil was crying and wanted to talk to us. so my husband suggested, if she is so unhappy with the indonesia maid, why don't we change over their duties so that the myanmar maid look after her? she flatly refused! i think we were all exasperated. we just want her to be happy and not let the issue of maid to make herself so angry and unhappy. what for? sometimes i feel that things go in a full circle. you keep scolding the maid and throwing things. (when she is fed up, she just throw the food or knife into the basin, sometimes narrowly missing the maid) so that's why the maid is behaving the same way to you. i always believe that there is a limit to people's patience.

i also talked to the maid just now that what she attempted to do today is dangerous. i asked her, when she did this, did she think of her mum back in indonesia? i know she has problems, then approach us, don't keep it all to herself. plus it's not like we ill treat her. that is what made me angry. i told her, we all know ah ma's condition, lost a limb, depressed. the maid also knows how many medicine my mil has to take each day. (28 in total, some medication, twice a day, some thrice a day) i told her, we all know ah ma's condition, i also understand her situation, so i tolong her to bear with it. i also tolong her not to do anything silly ever again.

that's why i always feel that my grandma is really a good grandma. from the time she had a major heart attack to the time she died, total of about 6 weeks. even though she has recovered from the massive heart attack, she would need a lot of care at home as her heart has weakend tremendously. if she prolonged, her children would suffer. so she choose to go quicly. i feel that my aunties and uncles are all very lucky. they would never understand the pain and suffering one has to go through to look after a seriously ill person at home.

my mil has had diabetes for almost 10 or 11 years. ever since i got married. her depression started in 2003/04. she lost a limb to diabetes for nearly a year now. ever since she became a handicapped, i can fully understand the what it is to have and look after a handicap person. and to add on to it, she has depression. her depression escalated in the past few months. these past few months have been tiring. At first, we thought that everything was ok. but things took a turn for the worse in the past few months, since term 3 begin.

i'm not sure if mil feels inferior. i'm not good at counselling people especially adults. i've been blogging for the past 45 minutes, i think i should stop. still need to wake up early tomorrow morning.

Friday, September 26, 2008

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/cna/20080925/tap-282-maternity-perks-urged-maids-231650b.html

i'm not at all excited with this piece of news.

Asked if domestic helpers should be allowed to give birth here, Home’s (the NGO who is suggesting this) executive director Jolovan Wham told Today: “We don’t have a view on that yet. But we are suggesting that they be given the 12—week maternity leave currently available toeither deliver their babies here or back in their home country.”

Work permit and security bond conditions prohibit female work permit holders, including maids, from getting pregnant.


giving them equal maternity perks is encouraging to find a husband in singapore to settle down. and duh, if they are pregnant, they would not be even able to come to Singapore to work in the first place. and duh, domestic maids go for half yearly check up and if they are pregnant, they would have to go back. duh duh duh. and if you do not have a view whether they be allowed to give birth here, then dun suggest such stupid suggestion.

The two groups also argued that the current standard contract agreed by the accreditation bodies, CaseTrust and the Association of Employment Agencies (Singapore), does not provide for paid sick leave, annual leave and public holidays. Nor does it specify expected work hours and payment for overtime work. These should be brought in line with current labour legislation, they argued.

let me see.... in my contract agreement, my current myanmar maid has annual leave, oops, sorry, bi-annual leave. At the end of 2 years, if she wants to continue to work with us, we have to let her go back 1 month to visit her family. (30 days for 2 years, some Singapore workers have only 14 days annual leave, ie, 28 days for 2 years) and if she does not want to go home, we have to pay her an extra month of her salary. so they do have certain benefits in this area.

as for the specific expected work and overtime work, how should i say? put it this way, if you can calculate and quantify the number of hours a full time housewife works, then we will be able to do the same for domestic workers.

imagine, if we specify, working hours from 9am - 5pm. ok, i'm fine with starting at 9am. that means me, as a mum, will wake up before 6am, get myself ready for work, then at 6am, wake my children to get them ready for school. I will also try to make my bed, make their beds, then rush out of the house before 6.30am to beat the traffic. all this while, my maids will still be sleeping in the room becos they will only start work at 9am.

Ok, let’s deal with the 5pm knock off time. This means that I’ll have to be home before 5pm, if the companies allow. Then cook dinner for the family, (should I also cook for my maid?) then when we have dinner, invite her to sit together with us for dinner. I’ll set the table, feed my children, after which I’ll have my dinner, then as the whole family is watching tv (maybe including the maid, their welfare, right!?! We need to look after their welfare) I’ll be washing the dishes, sweeping the kitchen and dining area, mopping the kitchen and dining area. Then change pyjamas for my kids and then put them in bed. All this while, my maids will be watching tv, or shaking leg in her room because she ends work at 5pm.

So what is the point of hiring a maid if I have to do another 50% of the housework myself? so before this is implemented, maybe we should build a dormitory for maids, let them go back and rest after they knock off work at 5pm. Then with the ample free time at night, they can go moonlighting, oh yeah, then we can kick in the maternity perks. No problem.

Some employ the maids as full time care giver to the sick and elderly. So can my maid tell my mil, ‘sorry ah ma, I work until 5pm. After 5pm, u want to go toilet, you push yourself into the toilet.’ Even if you talk about split shifts, 9am-1pm, then 5pm – 9pm. So if my mil fell down at 3pm, so my maid will tell her, ‘sorry ah ma, now not my working hour. You fall down, u pick yourself up.’ Or ‘u fall down, I help you up, I claim OT.’ Ha, that would be hilarious.

I’m sorry, I’m not being mean or sarcastic. Leave and pay wise, if you want to ensure a minimum wage, fine, go ahead. But certain things just cannot seem to happen. Because the working hours of housewife cannot be quantified. Ask any full time housewife.

Actually, the maids’ busiest time is in the morning and evening. I know my maids are very free in the afternoon from 2- about 5.30pm. They usually sit in the kitchens. I understand and do not expect them to be finding work to do as long as you have done your duties well.

I’m just infuriated with some of the recommendations they are suggesting. Of course, I know where these two NGOs are coming from. Recently, a whole family was charged in court for maid abuse, I really feel sorry for the maid. Maybe that’s why the NGOs feel that they have to do something to protect the welfare of the maids and thus come out with a few recommendations.
ok, it's friday. there were a few things on my mind, but after explaining things to some older colleagues, i got a bit pissed and i can't remember what i want to say.

1) this morning's lightning was so..... when i stepped out of the car, there was this bright flash of lightning, i thought someone tooke a picture with the flash light. the light just explodes in your eyes like that. then i heard the thunder, oh, silly me, then i realise it's the lightning.

2) it's friday, i will learn to relax. see if Ser is free to meet up or not, since she is back in sg. But judging by her to-do list when she is in sg, i doubt she is free. haha.

3) mabel's birthday is coming and we booked a chalet at east coast. yeah, very excited. and not to forget, it's our 10th year anniversary for customary. i must go get the video tapes on vcd.

ok, signing out. i need to keep my sanity for the day.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

looking at my blog, i realise that my blogskin is not as nice as my students' blog. anyway, it really took me a loonnnnggggggggggg time to go through all their blogs, it's like i spend almost half a day going through their blogs. omg, if i were to do that every day, then think i'll be able to get anything done. but i think i can subscribe to them, so i suppose i'll get updates when they update their blog.

yeah, i was angry with 3E1 yesterday. and when i'm angry, i dun want to talk cos i feel that when i'm angry, my frequency is disturbed and then my mind will think faster than i talk, then i can feel the wrong words coming out. so when i'm angry, i usually shut my mouth. i dun want to hurt anybody with my angry words.

to some of the students, i know i cannot be too kind. stern face.

the other thing that i was distracted with today is the article on new paper. about this girl whose obsence pictures have been circulating around the net. she claims that her ex boyfriend has been doing that. well, i'm not to judge who was the one who circulated the pics.

but it disturbed me because i really cannot understand what the youngsters are thinking.

1) yes, it is your blog, you can blog about anything. but then be responsible in whatever you blog. You cannot blog that you all went stealing.. it's just not the right thing to blog. what if u read my blog and i blog about something not acceptable? what would you do?

2) and dun believe your bf next time if they say, the pictures is only between you and me. dun be so guillible and believe him! girls are always on the losing end. people are not interested in naked guy pic, so they have nothing to lose. so if they say something like that, tell them to go fly kite.

3) doing obsence acts at public places is an offence! bear that in mind. keep your passion to yourself in your own privacy.

on one hand, we cannot blame youngsters for experimenting with their hps, but on the other, we cannot tolerate such acts.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

On recent milk scare case and the guy who ran away after hitting a pedestrian and a taxi along AMK ave 5, two words to summarise 'moral integrity'

i'm no saint either, but the milk thing is too much. This is food, consumed by children, it is really not ethical.

as for the guy who ran away from the accident scene, i dunno. It seems that some people just panic after the accident. but to run away, really, i guess it speaks a lot about the person. Adversity reflects the character of a person.

i was involved in an accident before. the two guys on the motorbike flew off their bike. i was scared, really scared. my first intuition, did the guy die? 2nd, call police, call ambulance. 3rd, in my mind, what really happen? i remembered sitting down on the road, offered my leg as head rest for one of them until the ambulance arrived.

anyway, i was just thinking about these two articles during morning assembly. Then i looked at the students. Then i reflected, have i taught them anything that would let them handle challenges? have i taught them anything about integrity? about ethnics?

Friday, September 19, 2008

yeah, in a way, i'm glad that it's friday. It has been such a mentally exhausting week. It has been so tired.

i'm just glad that the weekend is here so that i can spend time with my family and at the same time, recharge a bit. it's tiring to push on when you are on low batt.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Looks like the world is not looking very good these days.

this bring me back to 10 years ago, or about 11 years ago. someone once told me before, it's a cycle, sometimes 8 years, sometimes 10 years.

i also heard of people losing a lot of money these days in stock market. some i heard 40 - 50k, some 100 over k.

we should brave ourselves for hard times ahead. as i've said, bring nothing to this world, bring nothing when we leave this world, so wealth is secondary. in this time of hardship, who is the one standing next to you? that is primary. that's why couples who brave thorough thick and thin together tend to have more lasting relationship.

Friday, September 12, 2008

just a thought:

we came to this earth with nothing, we will also leave this earth with nothing. We only leave behind memories of us to those who are still alive. So how do we want people to remember us when we die? that should be our purpose in life. yeah, i think i found my purpose, so my blog will no longer be drifters drifting our lives away.

i remembered, at grandma's funeral, many people said good things about her. I really feel that she has really lived a fruitful life. I wonder if the same would be of my funeral. Will my students say that i'm a good teacher? will my children said that i was a good mother? will my mother/mil said that i'm a good daughter/dil? will my friends say that i'm a good friend?

so the purpose is to live your life to the fullest, do good deeds, just be yourself.
can't remember the name of the show. we were flipping through the channels and finally landed ourselves on hbo signature.

The show was about this guy who was married and has 3 children. He was always busy working and his mobile phone is always ringing. so to cut my story short, his wife and daughter was killed in a accident while driving out from the mall. so the story is about how he and his 2 other sons cope with the family loss and to try to press charges against the driver.

He managed to find a very good lawyer, so through investigation and security cameras from the mall, they saw two cars street racing. so begins the trial of prosecuting this driver. This driver is a youngster. He was very remorseful and sorry. so when you think that justice is finally served, the story took a twist.

the father requested to meet this youngster in the conference room, face to face and wanted to hear what he has to say. Of course, the youngster cried and said sorry to him. then the father's heart sort of give in. He wanted to pull out the charges.

He received a phone call from his son's school that he was fighting. so he went to the school and saw youngsters in the school, doing street racing on the campus grounds. An idea came to him. He requested for an assembly programme. He brought the youngster to the school and had him talked about his mistakes in front of the whole school. He wanted this youngster to teach other youngsters not to street race. Of course, the other students in school was positive to it. i remembered what he said, 'on that day of the accident, i killed two people. but i destroyed 5 lives. including my parents, that will be 7. and 8, including myself.'

this thing came out in the news and soon, they were receiving calls from other schools and wanted them to do a talk for these students.

in the end, on the final day of the court hearing, the prosecutor changed their dunno what you call that. in the end, through mutual agreement, the youngster was not charged with felony and homocide, instead it was changed to something. and the sentence is he had to work with this father to come out with a programme that will reach out to youngsters and educate them about street racing. then dunno wat dunno wat, 300 hours of community service.

It was a happy ending for all.

this is really forgiveness to the fullest. it's amazing how some people can turn their suffering into a good cause. btw, this is a real life story that the show is depicting.

it also taught me that sometimes life is just like that... poof and you are gone, so it taught me to love the people around me more and appreciate things around me while i can still do.

darn, after saying that, that me makes me feel like not working. but as usual, 101 things to do, sianzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Thursday, September 11, 2008

mabel's birthday in oct

Dear sis, will you be in Singapore for your birthday and mum's and mabel's?
we are planning to book a chalet at downtown east from 10/10-11/10.

yes, i do agree that long distance relationship is difficult even with the internet now.

being sick

since last monday 1/9, max, marcus and me had been taking turns to be sick. it first started with max, fever, (this was before the yona incident) then on wed, it was marcus and me. all have the same symptoms. fever and cough.

marcus slept in our room for a few nights, just want to monitor his cough at nigh. glad to say that most of us have recovered already. i remembered max lost his voice for a day. and yet, he wanted to talk so loudly and still so talkative.

this weekend it's mid autumn festival. on sat, my mum already bought some tickets to go chinese garden, can't say no to her. then on sunday, will plan and most probably bring the kids down to take lanterns.
i think it has been quite a while since i blog.

let me see,
since 2/9 - 4/9 was busy with N level duties.
then 5/9, brought mabel to AWWA school for a test. i really learn to appreciate my children more. and it doesn't help that max fell down from the yona on fri. i received the sms from marcus, this is what he say," max fell down from the yona by the broke and he fell together with the net with a big crash!'. so imagine i was outside with mabel, how worried i was. luckily there was my mil at home. When i went home, i looked at the yona, i really wonder how it fell out. it's not that we didn't secure. i also dunno how to describe, i also dunno how the maid handle the yona until the two metal can dislodge and came off. it was so difficult to even push the hook back in, so i really wonder how it managed to come off in the first place.

on 31/8, wanted to bring the kids to wild wild wet, but it was raining heavily, so in the end, met sil and bil with their kids and we proceed to orchid country club. the kids have a fun time playing and bowling.

on sat, 6/9. brought the kids to my friend's church wedding. and in the evening, brought them to east coast park. One of my student was having a BBQ to celebrate his birthday. We left at about 745pm. Then it started to rain heavily at about 800pm.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

feeling very sick. coughing and splitting headache. and it hurts so much, when you cough, the pain in the head goes all the way down to the neck. I have already taken a panadol. after this, i want to go and sleep.

Max was sick first on monday. Marcus started coughing since Wed. Me, since tues. The whole house is filled with coughing people.

Monday, September 01, 2008

This is weird, am looking forward to the one week break, but now that i'm in the midst of it, not feeling any better,

probably because Max is sick, so he's very sticky and uncomfortable since sunday. hope the medication works and he would be feeling better soon.

oh yes, thanks for all the happy teachers' day greetings by students, ex-students and colleagues. It was great to see ex students, growing up well and fine and remembering the good old times. good to see present students studying hard for their coming exams. if all of you are my own children, i would give all of you a hug for being a fine student. Words are not enough for me to express my appreciation to you too, for putting that extra effort and going that extra mile for your teachers!