Thursday, July 29, 2010

yesterday went to settle max's registration. since he is so excited about starting school, i'll let him try nursery starting from august.

now weekday becomes a routine of dinner, check homework, a bit of tv programme, put children to bed at 10pm, sleep.
next morning wake up, work...............................................................until evening time, then repeat routine.

i find myself harder and harder to lift my mood every day. i find myself harder and harder to convince myself to get ready for work. i find myself surfing websites, wondering if i should..........................

i think my body/mind is crying out to me that i'm not happy with work. sigh. i'm tired of it all.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

these 2 nights, at 10pm, i've been putting the children to bed. Marcus and Mabel could fall asleep quite easily, it's max that takes a little time.

the night before i had to tell him 2 stories, let me think, i told him the 3 bears and the 3 little pigs story. last night, we did 2 word search. actually he wanted a story, but i was very tired, i just patted him and i closed my eyes. eventually, he fell asleep.

at 3 plus, he opened my room door and came into my room and said 'mummy, i want to sh sh.' not bad.... then he went back to sleep again.

this morning, i just wanted to see the way he slept, when i opened the door, he was already awake.

he has been quite excited also recently as we kept on preparing him that he is going to school soon. and by soon, he really wants to start soon. he keeps asking me when i am buying him his uniform.... i think if he is ready, maybe i'll let him start nursery in aug or september.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Max drew. Apparently, that's the rainbow and that's me he drew! And next to my hand is my iPhone!




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Max knows how to write his alphabets!


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Sunday, July 25, 2010

Sat nite, max went to sleep on his new bed. He was excited.

Tonight, he came to the room after I put him to bed. He claims that he doesn't want to sleep there. Mmm, poor bed, abandoned by him.


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Saturday, July 24, 2010

Random thoughts:

1) removing the exam culture should start with changing the mindsets of the adults. Until they remove the current system of kpi to measure achievements, exams are here to stay. Until they remove everything that a sch does. Zip.

2) hdb resale flats at sky high prices. How do u expect couples to get married and give birth to babies when they do not even meet their most basic need? How do u want them to set up a family without a house?

So, instead of giving baby bonus, please reduce the prices of resale flats.

3) no doubt newly married couple get housing grant when they purchase flat, but pls lor, new flats are over subscribed. How many times do u want the couple to do balloting?

4) reading the newspaper dampens your mood. U read abt Mother Nature getting angry, people getting murdered, etc.




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Friday, July 23, 2010

Max has been bugging us to buy him a small bed so that he can sleep in Marcus' room. every evening when i come back, mummy, tomorrow is it saturday? when i say no, tomorrow is (thursday), he has this disappointment on his look.

today, i can imagine him lighting up when i say, yes, tomorrow is saturday. He is sure to go 'yeah'. i can't wait to go home but stuck in school due to cca. argh....
Did I mention the night before, max brought in the hamsters into the room, juz as I was about to sleep, the hamster decided to do some exercise by running the wheel? Faintz, brought the cage out, max was sleeping.

Last night, max wasn't sleeping yet when the same thing happened. So I told max, max, your hamster is very noisy. He actually went to hit the side of the cage as if to make the hamster quieten down. Ok mummy, it's not noisy anymore. So sweet of him.

Juz as he laid down, the hamster started again, he rolled his eyes, so funny! I told him it's ok.


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Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Did I mention that the kids got 4 more hamsters? And another cage?


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Yesterday, mabel's wallet, I suspected that it should be stolen in sch. Or she lost it. Let this be a lesson to her to be more vigilant.

Last night I was so tired, I slept at 720pm. But I woke up again at 8 plus, then in the night, watched prog. I dozed off at abt 12 midnite. Watched another show, travel and living, showing globe trekker, Sweden is such a beautiful place! Also channel u is showing the Korean drama, cruel intention, repeat telecast. Finally doze off at 1 am.

Mac went over to marcus' room to sleep again, sharing the bed wif Mabel. We are considering buying a small bed for max and putting it in the room.

Check this out, the art piece which Marcus did last minute and was scolded by me, got an A grade! Wow.


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Monday, July 19, 2010

Juz now scolded Marcus for not doing his art homework. So last min and he knew it since last tues. Told Lao gong to help him.

Sigh Marcus never change. Fed up.


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Sunday, July 18, 2010


Tiring to shop at ikea. Lunch first, crowded.

Then walked around, discussed home improvement ideas. I seriously need to change my kitchen.

Bought clothes rack, small table for balcony, toilet rack for the ch's bathroom, toothbrush holder and an art easel.

Now lying on bed, tired from the walking.

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Saturday, July 17, 2010

I felt strangefully calm.

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At 1225 hr, 17 July, I've packed my shattered heart in a box and buried it in the centre of earth, never to retrieve it again.




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My toe is starting to feel pain again. Lao gong asked me to go see doc again, but appt is next next tues.

Maybe I'll do a buddy splint myself, ha, that is so me, do everything myself.

But I would think that pain is a journey towards recovery.


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Friday, July 16, 2010

I've never felt so much pain in my life. It's like a thousand knives stabbing my heart. It's like a part of u has been torn away.

I was a fool, this time I dunno how long I'll take to recover. I feel like juz to fall down and die. Sorry, 3m, I know u read my blog, it's juz a feeling I used to express, I dun really mean to do it. No matter how I was insulted and ridiculed, I cannot let it take me down and cause u not to have a mother.

U put so much effort in it and when u realize that it is not going to work, that disappointment, that pain, u wouldn't know if u didn't go through it.

It's ok, I'll go sing my heart out, I hope I can find my heart.

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that week when i was in mc, my colleagues told me that the flourescent light bulb above me blew. and juz before i came back, it was repaired. so my colleagues were saying when i was not around, they were 'dis enlightened' and when i came back, they were enlightened.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

I am angry and frustrated with Marcus and mabel's tardiness in the morning.

Ok, I know they read my blog, then go and google what is tardy. Don't expect the answer to be given to u every time, dun expect food to be delivered to your mouth every time, dun expect someone to wear clothes for u every time.

Then I reflect, is it my fault for hiring a domestic helper at home? Can I do without one? I can! But first, I must quit my job and probably juz living on our own.

Then again, can I quit my job? This is the big *fishing question that cannot be answered. I can, if I'm not living in Sg. I can, if I'm not married.

Everything juz boils down to a * system that we r living in. U buy a house, u have to work to pay the mortgage. U have this commitment to fulfill. I hate that word, commitment. Everything just boils down to measure this measure that, kpi, afi blah blah blah. Even in your job, u r con into committing to something.


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Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Only reason why I agree to go NIE or SDC for courses is the fact that I could visit grandma.

Reached here 740 am, sorry grandma, didn't bring u any flowers. What I remember about u is your live and strong faith in God. U were the pillar for the family. Thanks, really, for all the things that u have done.

Smiling now as I recall the stories that aunt sal and Gor yee told me.

Cemetery is quiet, only a few workers working on the graves. Oh yah, gramdma's neighbor in front, finally, they concrete it. Must had have soil erosion. Anyway, grandma's place a little dirty due to the 'renovation' in front.

Enjoying the calm and serenity the cemetery is giving me. Even the long drive here, I've been thinking abt my priorities at work.

Ok, got to go, traffic would be heavy soon.

Bye grandma.

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Monday, July 12, 2010

Oh forget to blog, Marcus manage to cycle today. A little shaky, still cannot get hold of the direction, but at least he can cycle quite a far bit of distance. Happy for him.


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On Sunday, brought kids to Brussels sprouts again. The kids enjoyed themselves.

In the evening, went to the oasis Taiwan porridge to have dinner, SIS had a little promotion, thanks!


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For the whole weekend, I did not turn on my laptop, yeah!

At this moment, doing facial on my own. Later will put a pearl mask. SIS bought from Korea, I think.


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I had this strange feeling of freedom today.

It's like sometimes u get so frustrated with things, get upset by it, get angry with it, get disappointed with it.

Today u just let go of the feeling and tell yourself u dun want to care anymore, maybe that's why I get the feeling of freedom.


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Friday, July 09, 2010

Sigh, today if not for SIS who said happy anniversary to me, I forgot it's my rom anniversary.

Mm some things at work are just ... I shall not comment. Some things are done just for the sake of doing. Busy until I forgot my rom.


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another week is over and the world cup is coming to a close this weekend. Much excitement among many people.

July.. long month, there are 31 days.

can pull through

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

Two appointments cost me $168 for a week of mc. Not worth it, I'd rather be back at work.


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Officially going back to work from tomorrow. On one hand, very sad, on the other hand, happy. Last week, for the first 2 nights, I dreamt about work.

Hope my engine is able to re start. And I have to accelerate real fast as I've lag behind.

But it's good to keep one's mind occupied with work. Keeps u from thinking other things.

After much said, my spirits are still not lifted. Sad.


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Sometimes I feel that I'm a thick skinned person, after being insulted, I still ...



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Monday, July 05, 2010

the weather is good today, brought kids to wild wild wet as promised.

when we reached there, marcus and mabel saw their cousins, joey and cheryl and uncle. what a coincidence! so we all went in together.

the children had good time, max is still a little apprehensive about sliding down. marcus and mabel managed to try the adult slide once.

joey and cheryl left earlier, marcus wanted one last time at the 'tsunami', so brought them there.

i think lao gong and i were quite sun burnt. after washing up, we went mac to have lunch.

then later joey and cheryl came to our house, brought the children down to cycle and play badminton.

oh yah, in the late evening about, 430pm. our house has got no electricity. the first 4 units all have no electricity. My neighbours called the town council to rectify the problem. so from about 5 - 6pm, the 3 of us were outside, with the children, chatting along the corridor.

by 6pm, brought the children for dinner.

Today is a tiring day... both physically and mentally.

Thursday, July 01, 2010

It's 1st July, half the year has gone, so fast.

U know when ur ex ex ex, dunno how many batch ago student still rem ur b day, it really makes ur day and really make all these, worthwhile.


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