it's june

yeah, tomorrow is june.

It's GSS and it's birthday month, i know singtel, helen's, facial and some other shops have specials during birthday month. I'm so excited.

hee, spend money. i foresee a hole in my pocket.

1st day of holiday

Today, i played wii game with children. It was quite fun, they enjoyed it, well, at least mabel said, 'how come today you want to play game with us?' They enjoyed it.

After that, went to Tampines mall pizza hut for a late lunch. grabbed some assessment books at popular and groceries at ntuc, then came home, continued to play wii games with them while sopia cooked dinner. After dinner, we had a last game of wii, my arm muscles were aching.

After bathing, we all decided to help marcus to beautify his project work. He just used pencil markings. omg, so we added colours for him while he outlined his words with a black pen.

Now, I just want to relax and watch some drama serials and it's holiday classes tomorrow!!!! 4 days, persevere, it will be over in no time.

dream/wish

It is a dream, a wish,

that one day when i'm old, i'll be able to hold the hands of my dearest beloved, walking on the beach and watching the sunset.

i would die without regrets.

new week

it's a monday, wonder how is everyone feeling on this new week?

Marcus could not wake up in time for school, was harsh in asking him to hurry up to change. He was seriously late, needless to say, he was unhappy with me shouting at him. I guess i got to do what i got to do.

Yah, I got to do what i got to do, or do nothing is the best i can do. back to work

One completed side

One completed side. Gosh, such a simple one, took me 6 days. Average about 2 hours a day, sometimes less.

Ser, u said to use the sewing machine to sew up the pouch after the cross stitch is completed. So be ready.

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holidays

I should be feeling a huge sigh of relief when the holidays started, but i didn't, Yes, it was a good break knowing that there would be no teaching for at least three weeks, hope it gives my cough enough time to fully recover.

Time to catch up on admin work. didn't even feel like counting the to-do list of admin work. never ending. come what may, do what i need to do.

well, at least the weekend is.... i spent the time doing cross stitch, trying to find a sense of achievement. so far, nothing i done has been good and achieved. It sucks when no matter how hard you try, you are never able to achieve. i fully understand how the students felt when they put in so much effort to their studies but their results turn out otherwise. That discouraging feeling, it honestly sucks. It is not like you never try your best. You tried, you learnt, you changed your temper. Worse still, when people tell you leopard will never change its spots. it just dealt you a terrible blow and you just spiral downwards in an abyss of hopelessness.

Since it's holidays, all the more have to plan something to occupy the children.

Saturday, went to giant to buy groceries before going to fetch Marcus. There was a power failure at the cashier check out yesterday, it was rather chaotic, luckily, we had enough cash as the GIRO was not useable. Worse, there was no air con, so it began to feel stuffy, asked mabel and max to wait outside, hurriedly paid for the things and went on to fetch Marcus.

After fetching Marcus, went to TTSH to have lunch and visit mil. After that, came home, the children watched their vcds, their papa bought them despicable me and wimpy kid vcd. so as the children watched the vcd, i did more cross stitch and the papa washed air con. (again, i think he is addicted to washing air con)

Went to bunkers for dinner, it was a quick one, max didn't like that place. We asked for the table near the swing so that the children can swing. After dinner, came home, it was only 8 plus, so the children watched despicable me vcd again.

Didn't feel like waking up so early this morning, so i just sleeeeeeeeeeeeeept all the way to 10 plus. The feeling of not having to wake up at the sound of the alarm clock, shiok!!!!!!

should be going to TTSH again, and later this evening, i need to discuss something with my mum.

Quote

#ZodiacFacts #Geminis,can be unrealistic, and they frequently unwittingly sabotages close, and personal relationships.


#ZodiacFacts #Gemini also forgives and forgets faster than any other sign.

Wa!

Quote

A #Gemini is so crafty, so devilish,so delightful and when you think you've really gotten to know them. You could be mistaken.


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Half completed cross stitch

Look at what i've found in my one of my hand carried bag.





A cross stitch I did halfway. Omg!

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Update on cross stitch

2nd day progress





Them, this is the back of my cross stitch




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Can I complete?


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Signs

As a #Gemini,The speed in which you process information,even useless info can lead communication issues with your closest relationships.

#ZodiacFacts As a #Gemini,You're not absent-minded, you just think about twice as many things, twice as fast as the other 11 zodiac signs.

ZodiacFacts As a #Gemini,You probably have groups of people who know you as one person and groups of people that know you as another.

I believe I have many communication issues. I dunno how to phrase my words properly. I learnt, u cannot juz say wat u want, especially unkind words, because unkind words hurt.

Contentment

I think I was never contented. I thought I could take it easy, I thought keeping unhappiness to myself, things should be ok. But no, I let the unhappiness creep out and it unleash into a horrible monster.


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Cross stitch

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Starting on marcus cross stitch. My dear sister and cousin, how would you expect Marcus to do the cross stitch.

Wish me luck to complete.



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What is life?

At different points of our life, we always ask this question.
Why do people ask this question? Because they are purposeless, because they are unhappy with present life?

So what if you want yo change the present life and go and find your purpose and find your happiness? If changing your present situation affects many many many many many many people, can you change it? Can't do it for own selfishness. Refrain, constrain, as if society has not given us enough constraints.

I'm not complaining about present life, although at the back of my mind, I have a nagging thought that the other life would be better, but I think I have to suppress that for the time being. Find my happiness in my present situation.

Deal with my unhappiness and be happy!

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New week, last week

Last week of school term, looking forward to a closure. A proper closure. Mentally tired.

Hope the week will be smooth. Learn to expect the less so disappointment is minimal. Every other thing is a bonus.

Am waiting for uncle peter's reply and will see how to proceed from there.

So the meaning of dreaming my mum being involved in an accident meant something, meant, she in some sort of problem and me this daughter, it's time to play a proper role as a daughter. Time to step in, cannot act blur anymore.




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change template

change to an orange background, hope it lifts up my mood and your mood when you read my blog.

Dreams

Last nite, I dreamt that my mum was knocked down in an accident.

It was a terrible accident involving a van and a motorcycle and my mum was the pedestrian. It was night time. By the time I arrived, she was gone. But the police didn't allow me to see the mangled body. That's all I can remember.

So as the saying goes, if u dream that someone died, it means u have given him/her some years of your life.

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meditation

Just now, at a spur of moment of jealousy, i so much wanted to return an unkind act with an unkind act. but i told myself, keep repeating, meditate, meditate, cannot repay something which i feel that it's an unkind act with un unkind act.


meditate, meditate, meditate....

it's not easy, it's so easy to let jealousy and unkind thoughts and feelings to 'eat' your heart and it makes you want to show it out and make the people around you feel the same as you do, so again, the actions, words that you said, do, tends to agitate to achieve the aim.

so let go... let go of the unhappiness, let go of the jealousy, let go of the hurt and pain... meditate. is sleeping a good way to meditate? if so, i would like to go to sleep now. ha, joking....

kindness

from young, we have been taught to be kind. when you grow up, you realise that sometimes, it doesn't pay to be kind. When you are kind, people take advantages of your kindness, bully you, take you for granted, because you are kind, so you will understand.

Is this world really based on scheme and trickery? it's easy to show on tv drama, good people will have good ending, bad people will have bad ending. I'll be waiting for my good ending, but the process is tedious, arduous, painful and sad.

but as i said, i'll keep the unhappiness, choose to be happy.

i seriously need to meditate now.

happyness

Purposely spelt it with a 'y' instead of 'i'. I remembered Will Smith acted in a show which spelled happiness the same way. Y? i could not remember the reason.

recently i read an article on happiness. but i can't find it now. It's about why do people choose to be unhappy. It's because when we are unhappy, people wil take notice of us. If we choose to be happy, people will not take notice of us. it is because the society has made it this way, so when a child cries or unhappy, adults give it attention. so the child learns, unhappy, got attention, so they grow up having this mentality.

happy, also have to live one day, not happy also have to live one day. so might as well choose to be happy.

I'm not saying that we act to be happy, no, it's just that we are bound to face unhappiness, it's how you choose to handle the unhappiness. I find that not easy. the feeling is no good. It's like i'm unhappy, nobody knows, so you try all means and ways to let the other party know that you are unhappy, be it agitate the person, then argument and issues started.

come to think of it, what is the point? unhappy, unhappy lor, unhappy feelings will go away.
everything is worthwhile as long as the other party doesn't take u for granted.

update

sorry, folks, been busy with marking lately. Finally, it's over. So looking at holiday plans for children. Any idea where I can bring the children to have a not so expensive yet a fun-filled day? because i'm looking at bringing 5 children.

Exams

came home earlier than usual today to help marcus and mabel with their maths as they have maths exam tomorrow. Wa, they show me that black face, like i owe them, like it's my fault that they have maths exam tomorrow.

never mind, i tolerate, continue revision. When their careless mistakes were so many and so silly, that's when i blasted at them. Anyway, you all know my pattern, I'm cannot contain my frustration and was talking at a very loud voice.

so i have decided not to help them for their science on friday. They want, they study the science themselves and if they fail, I would only whack them.

It feels sad when your effort is not appreciated. It's like, hello, i also have my things to do, work to do, tv programme to watch. If i can sacrifice, why can't they? It was really painful.

anyway, i made a bet with them. If they got Band 3 for Maths, maths assessment 3x a week during june holidays.
If they get Band 4, maths assessment every day during june holidays.

If they get band 2 and above, no need to do assessment for june.

说了再建（HDB组屋）

This is a funny song!!!!

Work

After so many days of not going go work, I'm kind of used to stay home.

So worried that there will be so many things to do at work. Sigh, I juz remembered there is something that urgently needs to be done.

Work is reality.

Max is having a cough so he has not been able to sleep well at night lately. Each time he coughs, I'll wake up to see if he's ok. Had his water bottle next to him, in case. He's no longer a baby, if he was, I would have carried him in my arms to sleep.

Ouch, thinking of work makes my gum feels pain.


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Teeth cleaning

Took out stitches today and did some tartar removing of my teeth. Dentist said I should clean my teeth every six months.

Now teeth feels squeaky clean, but sensitive.


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1 month

Didn't realise today is one month anniversary of me holding the iPhone.


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Let go

two simple workds, but how many people can really let go?

can someone really let go of the past, of the hurt? from young, we have to learn, i was just scolding mabel, she did a mother's day card, but i think sopia accidentally spoilt it and she threw it away. Both hers and marcus' card. Marcus is very cool about it but Mabel is very upset and angry.

I just had a good talk with Mabel, she feels that her efforts had been wasted and she is upset and angry about it. I told her, many times in life, we will have this feeling, feel that our efforts are not appreciated and wasted. I told her that she has to first let go of this feeling, this hurt, this upset, then she would be happy.

as i talked to her, i can't help but reflect on myself too. how many times, we feel hurt, we feel upset, but how many of us can really let go of that feeling? if we dun let go of the feeling, it is going to 'eat up' your heart and your emotions and because you are not happy, it leads to more conflicts, more arguments.

on bigger issues, how many of us can learn to let go of the past, of the hurt? it may seem difficult to let go at that point of time, but i know, with time, it will erase everything, memories, hurt, then it's easier to let go. the process is painful, but it will be beneficial. yes, at times, memories creep in, heart feels pain, but the pain will go away soon.

We are human, it's human to feel emotions, feel emotional. but i guess we have to learn to let go of some of the feelings, then u can feel the peace within.

also, how many people can really let go of a failed relationship? can we really be cool about it and let the person has his/her freedom?

i'm still learning to let go of feelings, of hurt, of pain.

Max school

Today max's school celebrate mother's day.



Practicing to draw hearts.




The heart became a circle.




Small performance.




The card.

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VW golf

Mivec engine lose to vw golf. Nb. Many many vw golf I saw, damn fast. Every time I see, not 1 but 2 vw golf. Everytime push my backside. Nb

I want to change car!!!!!


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morning rush

did i have a similar post? because as i typed morning, the whole phrase morning rush came out.

anyway, i observed

1) many of my neighbours will leave house at 7am to fetch their kids to school. 4 of my neighbours to be exact.

i like this routine. Sending my ch to school, stay home mum. actually, what a contradiction, i cannot stay at home one. Just that these few days been good, a break from routine. I even contemplate about quitting, but judging from the meagre income plus no CPF contribution, i put off the idea.

just did some gardening, now my hand filled with rosemary, mosquito plant and peppermint smell. i keep smelling my hand like a crazy person.

anyway, many people have a daily routine every day. i remembered even as a student, sometimes, i would make sure that i reach the bus stop and take the same bus at the same time every day just to make sure that i'm on the same bus as the boys that i had a crush on. I guess young people nowadays don't do that because they have their electronic device with them when they take public transport. You became less observant of your surroundings.

I also remembered last time, i shifted to ang mo kio, but my primary school is still at dover. So for two long years, i had to take bus 74 from ang mo kio to clementi before changing another bus to dover. as bus 74 plowed along bt timah road, you can imagine the private properties that i was looking at. I even had a few favourite ones and i even gave them names.

I also remembered that when i was studying for my exams during secondary school, i used to study in the kitchen at night, so that i can look out of the window when i needed a break. As you know, the block of flats are close to each other, i actually observed each and every single family in the opposite block. that was how i get acquainted with 2 neighbours from the opposite block too, one on the 13th floor and one on the 5th floor. Wow, those were the wild days.

Now that we are older, though not as crazy, but we know our daily routine, we will get to see this or that neighbour, say a few his and byes. Even sometimes as i drive to school, there are a few cars that i will meet often. I know this car is from my car park, will filter left but if the car is still on the right lane, somehow, i give way to the car. I saw the school van, i knew it will be turning into the right into the school car park just before my school, i will take the left lane, pass the school van and take the right lane again. I even recognise some of the parents' car/motorcycle, gave way to them, drive carefully around them.

During morning assembly, i like to look up the sky and see the clouds and smell the fresh air, if any.

Do you have a daily routine? Do you have that someone or some car that you would meet in your daily routine?

Mosquito plant

My mosquito plant is growing well and new leaves keep sprouting, so proud of it.





And it has a nice lemongrass smell. I like to fill my hands with its smell.






These are my new peppermint that sprout out too.





My rosemary plant also has new leaves.




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A bird

A bird flew into the balcony and rested.



The 3 children are so fascinated by it, Mabel is cleaning the bird now.




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More storage for jewelleries

Gor yee gave me one jewelry stand for my stuff. She also gave Mabel one.





I already have a box to keep my other stuff like watch, rings and earrings.

As u can see, I still have places for more earrings. Hint hint!

Mabel counted my bracelets, 21 or 22.

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Escape theme park

Wanted to bring children to theme park, but it was drizzling, so we decided to go giant to do grocery shopping. Max and his papa park the trolley at a place while Marcus and Mabel followed me to pick up the stuff.

Since it wad still drizzling, decided to bring them to Clarke quay's fountain and let them play at the fountain, when we reached there, the fountain was closed!!! So we had lunch at BK whopper bar.

On our way home, seeing that the sky has cleared, we decided to go to the theme park.

So now the theme park is, you pay an entrance fee and all the rides, you do not have to pay money anymore. Of course, the rides are not as fun as before.

So we all tried the mini roller coaster first. Max and his papa, Mabel and Marcus and I was Alone in a carriage. Children had fun but max was a little scared.

Next, max saw the go kart, so he and his papa queue for the go kart. You have to be 18 years and above or u have to be accompanied with an adult. So Marcus and Mabel and I decided to play the Viking. All of us were screaming our hearts out!

Later, max and his papa is still queuing so we decided to go play wet and wild.





I took videos of the thing coming down, but couldn't post here.

Next, I decided I wanted to play wet and wild, so Mabel and me in one slide and Marcus went Alone in one slide.

The wet Mabel.






After we were done, met up with max and papa. Then I decided to bring max to take the plane ride, while papa and the other two went to take Viking.






Marcus and Mabel wanted to take the boat where you bump into other boats and spray water at other people.

After that, we took the ferris wheel. Marcus Mabel and I in one capsule, max and his papa in another one.









Then the children went to play the superman, while I took pictures of them.









Then max went to take train wif Marcus.









After that, max wanted to play the superman again, Marcus and Mabel wanted to play wet and wild and Viking again, so we separated again.








We all had a tiring day. Now at ang mo kio having dinner.



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Manicure pedicure

Got myself new color in nails.






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